Captain America

I ran across this blog post that wanted to discuss Captain America. It was a defense of him, countering accusations that he’s somehow “cliche.”

Captain America embodies the spirit of Spidey’s catchphrase. “With great power comes great responsibility.” He was a weakling, physically impotent, and the object of much derision and abuse. Receiving the super soldier serum, he became more than a man. He became a symbol of America’s ideals. Our own version of Noblesse Oblige. It is the job of the powerful to protect those who cannot protect themselves.

Cap sat out Vietnam. Did you know that? Didn’t approve of the war.

In the movies he’s clearly not thrilled about some of our recent military decisions. They fly in the face of his beliefs. America is supposed to lead by example, not by force. Not to be a bully. He loves his country, but not in a jingoistic, nationalist way. It is not beyond him to criticize it for its missteps and misdeeds.

Though Cap represents home-spun values in some respects, it is this instinct to defend that is the most important aspect of him. I don’t think it makes him 1 dimensional. If he was some kind of nationalist nut, maybe. But a man who has moral conflicts about what has been his life’s work, and the uses he and other soldiers are put to, is not a man of a single dimension.

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Oh, Pat… you senile old goat, you…

Oh, Pat… you senile old goat, you…

Well, maybe you should be considering taking your doddering old ass out to Oklahoma the next time they’ve got a big storm front coming through to help the folks out with the power of your mighty prayer.  I’m sure that God’s will be swayed by your great piety and spare the folks he was so callously going to wipe out because there are bad people somewhere else.  The tell you the truth, Pat, I think you think God’s got shitty aim.  I mean, God can drop a tornado on a gay person’s HOUSE.  He doesn’t need to wipe out several blocks of a city in a backwards ass state where they don’t even LIKE gay marriage.  C’mon, give the Almighty a little more credit than that.

And, seriously, his keepers need to be fired.  Shouldn’t SOMEONE’S job be to make sure some of Pat’s more serious episodes don’t make it into the public awareness.  I mean, he still generates some money from some really withered old prunes out there whose last breaths are spent worrying about something that was never any kind of threat to them in the first place, but, hey, at least he’s useful to SOMEONE.

Sarcasm’s “It’s the End of the World” Edition

Drill, baby, drill. Drill, suck, chew, swallow.  Consume like mad because Jesus is coming and he’ll fix everything we fuck up in the meantime.

What kind of stupid way to run a country is this?  What I can’t figure out is that Republicans cry and wail about the debt we’re leaving our children, but act as though the damage we do to the environment through drilling and fracking doesn’t matter.  As if the only thing that matters is the fucking debt.  Here’s a clue.  People with a toxic atmosphere and toxic water WON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE DEBT.

So you think Jesus is coming soon and he’ll set everything to rights.  The rest of us, including those Christians who don’t necessarily think Armageddon is around the corner, have to live, and govern, as if there’s a consequence to all of this.  That we can’t afford to poison our air and our water because our grandchildren will have to live with it.

It’s like there’s some drastic misalignment of their psyches, an inability to grasp anything that doesn’t have dollar signs.  If it doesn’t have monetary value, fuck it.

Our President went full-tilt liberal in his Inaugural Address.  The right took this as some kind of affront, as if they’d been extending a hand in friendship all this time and he slapped it away.  I’m pretty sure it was the other way around.  And, for once, we liberals heard the speech and breathed a sigh of relief.  You all think he’s going to become some kind of dictator.  Project much?  That was Bush’s deal, remember?  “This would be easier if I were a dictator,” or something to that effect.  Obama has gone out of his way to be conciliatory, to the point it drove half of us half crazy.  We all saw what that got him.  We thought Clinton had it bad.

Forget about our fiscal debt.  What about our ecological debt?  What about the rare Earth minerals we’re consuming like they’re going out of style?  Yes, it’s entirely possible that we’ll find the materials in space, on the moon or in the asteroids.  That would be good.  But it still doesn’t change the simple fact that we’re changing the climate in unexpected ways, we’re destroying habitats as if they’re going out of style.

So these folks might believe Jesus will fix all their fuck-ups when he comes back.  But the rest of us have to live in the world where nothing like that occurs, a world in which we’re responsible for our own actions.  They should try it.

This is our country too, you assholes.  And our world.  We’re trying to leave it to our children and grandchildren.  We’d really prefer it if you morons would stop destroying it before we get the chance.  Make up your minds.  How is money more important than fresh air or fresh water?  Land that isn’t poisoned by fracking?

Explain that.

Thorsday Sarcasm H8 News edition

House GOP beneath pond scum in popular opinion poll.  Mosquitoes agree. Other parasites have not yet weighed in.

The NRA puts out an ad centered on the protection given President Obama’s Daughters.  It’s so offensive that even a Fatwa as been called against the NRA’s leadership, calling all all good Muslims to strike down these infidels for their disrespect.  Noted Asian Street Thug Jimmy “Blink” was heard to say “someone should put a cap in their ass.”  Somewhere in hell Hitler was heard to sigh.  Joe Scarborough struck speechless.

This just in:  A dog is a better crime deterrent than a gun.

Idiot rural jackass still missing the point.

Right Wing Weather report:  Stupid tonight and continued stupid until morning.  Ignorant as hell for the next several days, with periodic bursts of paranoid delusion.

Secret Chinese Military bases pose threat to 2nd Amendment.

Local man swears he needs assault rifle to check mail to ward off members of squirrel conspiracy.  Squirrels deny ill intent.

This just in:  Bears are not Catholic and the Pope doesn’t shit in the woods.

Everyone is lying to you.

Pop music finally responds to the allegation it’s getting mindless and simplistic.  Spokesperson comments, “What?”

FOX News Contributor: Ablow says “It’s Obama’s fault we’re crazy.  Refuses to pay for our mental health care.”

Religious fanatics misuse history to push narrow agenda.

Anti-gay bigots still butthurt about mean things NFL kicker said.  Get over it.

And there it is.  The news you didn’t know you needed.