Thorsday Sarcasm H8 News edition

House GOP beneath pond scum in popular opinion poll.  Mosquitoes agree. Other parasites have not yet weighed in.

The NRA puts out an ad centered on the protection given President Obama’s Daughters.  It’s so offensive that even a Fatwa as been called against the NRA’s leadership, calling all all good Muslims to strike down these infidels for their disrespect.  Noted Asian Street Thug Jimmy “Blink” was heard to say “someone should put a cap in their ass.”  Somewhere in hell Hitler was heard to sigh.  Joe Scarborough struck speechless.

This just in:  A dog is a better crime deterrent than a gun.

Idiot rural jackass still missing the point.

Right Wing Weather report:  Stupid tonight and continued stupid until morning.  Ignorant as hell for the next several days, with periodic bursts of paranoid delusion.

Secret Chinese Military bases pose threat to 2nd Amendment.

Local man swears he needs assault rifle to check mail to ward off members of squirrel conspiracy.  Squirrels deny ill intent.

This just in:  Bears are not Catholic and the Pope doesn’t shit in the woods.

Everyone is lying to you.

Pop music finally responds to the allegation it’s getting mindless and simplistic.  Spokesperson comments, “What?”

FOX News Contributor: Ablow says “It’s Obama’s fault we’re crazy.  Refuses to pay for our mental health care.”

Religious fanatics misuse history to push narrow agenda.

Anti-gay bigots still butthurt about mean things NFL kicker said.  Get over it.

And there it is.  The news you didn’t know you needed.


3 thoughts on “Thorsday Sarcasm H8 News edition

  1. McKenzie M says:

    funny and thank you.

  2. Karen H. says:

    Paragraph 5: just fricking brilliant. The whole thing is pretty great but that one is truly stellar! 🙂

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